Monday, December 24, 2012

Valkerie

I love dogs.  I have always loved dogs.  It started way back when I was a wee little kid.  There was Rebel, a beagle who I think the neighbors poisoned.  He did bark relentlessly and was an outside dog.  He used to bark and bark and then one day he didn't and he was dead.  I am certain it was a neighbor. I guess it was our fault.  No one ever did anything to stop the barking. Then there was my favorite, Val.

Val was an English Pointer.  A fantastic show dog who was beautiful in every way.  She even bit the mailman when she thought he was coming in the yard when we were out playing.  She just knew he was up to no good.  She was always with us.  She had a couple of litters of puppies that I remember.  They were named after gods - Loki, Freya, etc.  They were gorgeous.  My parents sold them.  I hope they lived great lives.  I tear up as I write this.  Val was amazing.  Unconditional love.  Isn't that what we are looking for and I got it. I got it for a long time.  I am so lucky.

One thing that I didn't like was that Val was beat with a rubber hose when she misbehaved.  I think that really shaped me in many ways.  I would see that and just be filled with rage.  My rage makes me cry.  I didn't know how else to manage it.  I think that was when I first started to dislike my "dad."  I use that term loosely. I will talk more about that later. This will probably piss some people off, but I don't care.  It is how I felt.  I never understood and to this day do not understand how anyone could or would beat their dog with a rubber hose.

As Val grew older, she lost control of some of her faculties and life became hard for her.  But he still had that fucking rubber hose.  I remember the day she went to the vet for the last time.  God, I loved that dog.  I use those memories to make sure I treat my dogs well.  I look forward to when I get to the point in this blog where I talk about all my dogs as an adult.  They tell a lot about me.  A lot...