Monday, April 29, 2013

That was disgusting

I am reminded of my first day in North Carolina in 1990. We moved there for my job when Erica was just 1. As we were walking around our apartment that July day, I walked into the bathroom. As I looked around I saw there at the side of the toilet THE largest spider I have ever seen. It was about 3 feet in diameter and I think had a tattoo of Chuck Norris on its leg. Okay maybe that is a slight exaggeration. I instantly went into Super Shelley Spider Slayer mode and stepped on it.

It was at that moment my life changed. I could feel the bones through my shoe. Aaaaarrrrrggghhhhh aaaaahhhhhhhhhh! I started doing that spastic dance you do when something totally grosses you out. Clearly North Carolina was used in secret nuclear experiments in the 80s.

That was just the first of many spiderific episodes that I will recall from my time in the southern wilderness.