Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Don't judge me
As I sit here sick in my house after getting that lovely nasty cold that was going around the workplace, I am reminded of a funny yet sick event from about 23 years ago.
My grandma (my mom's mom) had just died. We were back in my hometown for the funeral. It just so happened that our eldest who was our only child at the time was sick. And by sick, I mean there was stuff coming from places I didn't know could leak. We had been to the doctor, to the immediate care, and everyone said the same thing - Pediasure. So we bought out the local Walgreens of all they had. I was constantly changing diapers, washing clothes, and filling bottles. I am still amazed today, her eyeballs didn't float out of her head. It was 3 days of nasty. I was tired, Michael was tired, and we were sick of changing everything.
At the funeral, my parents had gotten pissed at me because I had laughed about something. I don't even know what, but it was clearly not the time to laugh. I don't do funerals well. I just don't. I want to remember the good (well for me with her there wasn't good until the very, very end) and not dwell on the dead part. I have many times told my kids to burn me up, spread me in left field, and play loud dance music at the memorial. NO CRYING! Only talking bad about my flaws and laughing about the other crazy shit I did. Again I digress...
So after 3 horrendous days, we were on our way back home. Erica seemed like she was getting better, but she had one last explosion left. She was in the back seat and we were in the front. All of a sudden we heard it and then I looked back. All I said to my husband was "pull over."
I stripped her of all clothing, wiped her down and re-clothed her. I then told my husband we needed to stop at a Toys R Us or something. He asked why and then he understood. Sitting on the side of the road was the carseat and all her clothing. I told him not to judge me and not to look back. Just drive. I am mad, I am tired, and I am not above murder at this point. "Let's go get a new carseat."
We drove away.