Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Year 47, nope still not brave enough
I can't hang my leg off the bed. I just can't do it. Not even a little. I know that something is going to touch it, grab it, eat it, rip it off, or lick it.
Just last night I tried. What is wrong with me? I have 2 dogs in the room that I am certain if someone corporeal or otherwise were in there they would alert me. Hell I have another dog just down the hall who barks even when nothing is there. I laid there at 4 in the morning talking aloud to myself about how it was fine. I can do this I said. Nothing is here. It will be fine. I get up in 2 hours. Finally after 10 minutes I said fuck it and put my leg back on the bed.
I will try again next year. I need to have something to look forward as a challenge besides the easy things like kids graduating, marriage and grandchildren, right?! Irrational fear is so much fun.