Saturday, June 1, 2013

Your car is on fire

I enjoy living in the Midwest.  I tried my lot at living in the South.  Let me give you 3 key signs you need to move back north:

3) Delta is ready when you are... Once you move to the south you are no longer allowed to speak of the north or say anything in the south moves slow.  If you do, they correct you and offer you the phone number for Delta Airlines.

2) Clearly the nuclear facilities located in several places (we were within 10 miles of the Harris plant) must have been leaking radioactive materials to have bugs that big.  When you step on spiders and can feel them through your shoes, when you are mowing your grass and spiders jump off your well-house trying to eat you, and you are pretty certain you hear "get out" as bugs are chirping in the evening wind...It's best to leave.

1) There's a knock on the door.  It's a fireman.  He asks if you are from Indiana.  An interesting, yet suspicious question.  He says, "Your car is on fire."  WTF!  Hmmm.  Okay.  Yep it was.  Someone came though and lit every car on fire that had northern plates.   

If after that you decide to stay, you get what's coming to you.