Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Take that candied yams!

I wasn't always the super pleasant person I am today.  I know it is hard to believe.  I once had a temper and was kinda mean to people.  I know, say it ain't so...

My favorite "you are outta your mind" episode occurred one Thanksgiving.  Everyone kept asking me "do you want help?"  Now if I want help I will say I want help.  After the 10,000th time of hearing that, I had just opened the oven where the candied yams were baking.  I picked up the pan and the load shifted.  Yep bad news when you are talking about yams and aluminum.  So in one of my epic moments, I decided to just throw the pan on the floor and proclaim "I need a bit of help."

My mom was like "Jesus Shelley, all you had to say was stop asking me for help." Oh snap, the eyeball rolls, laser-eye looks, and snarky remarks clearly didn't speak loud enough.  Sunshine enjoyed the yams.  I think my kitchen is still sticky in places from that day and it was over a decade ago.  I don't know if that speaks to my cleaning abilities or the force I exerted on that food item.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may you always have much for which to be thankful.  Gobble Gobble 

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Big Norm

Today would have been Stormin' Norman's 17th birthday.  He was a phenomenal dog.  A miniature schnauzer of which nothing was miniature.  He was salt and pepper in color, had oversized organs and was a hulking 40 lbs.  He would lumber about all the time.  Nothing really made him crazy.  When he would go outside he would mosey about for a long time.

In the winter when the snow flew, he would go to the back of the yard and then refuse to come in.  We would have to go lift up that lug and bring him in.  He was heavy.

He was the first dog we ever had that Michael liked.  He would pet Norm in secret and then deny it if we asked.  He would rub Norm's belly and if we came in, he would act as though Norm had gotten in trouble.

Norm had a chair.  It was the blue lazy boy, which clearly described his nature.  If someone was in his chair, he would just hop up there and sit right on them if he had to.  He and Erin fought about that chair for a long time.  Now Elly lays in that chair.  

Junior reminds us of Norm and on this day, it comforts me to look at Junior and remember Norm fondly.  I do so hope there is a dog section in Heaven.  Norman is there sitting in a comfy chair and eating a bone.  He is likely sitting next to Sunshine whose beard is orange from just having raided some Angel's garbage who ate Spaghettios. 
Elly enjoying Norm's chair 

Cinder Elly, Cinder-Elly!

This is Elly.  Erin rescued her from the shelter.  She has 3 legs as a result of an October car accident which is what led her to be in a shelter.  She is healing well and is adapting amazingly.  She has more spunk and life in her than most 4 legged animals and most 2 legged people! 

I get to puppy sit her on weekends when Erin has to work. She is so loving.  When she comes up to you she leans into your body to rest her little tripawd frame.  She has a tongue about a foot long that you don't even see coming and then BOOM, you have been slobbered upon.  

If the Disney story is any indication of how her life will turn out, this Cinder-Elly is in for the best life ever!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

It all started with a Big Bang

It's 8 o'clock.  Time for the Big Bang Theory.  We watch every Thursday night.  Usually our eldest serenades us with the theme song.  She, though, is living with her husband out of state.  Funny how you miss what seemed like a little thing.  Then as if on queue:

We are serenaded yet again...via text.  I love my children.  Happy Throwback Thursday.  What happy memory are you having tonight? 

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Crisco, butter knife, and a tic tac

Desperation is the mother of invention, or something like that.  Well, actually I think it is more like, I think a butter knife will work.  MacGyver has nothing on me.

Got a piece of loose carpet, tuck it with a butter knife
Need paint opened and stirred, butter knife and plunger
Want to open the washer latch before the washer stops, butter knife
Your dad wants to make a point, butter knife slips right to your chest
Need to open mail, butter knife
Open the back of a watch, butter knife
Need to turn a screw, butter knife

Then there is Crisco...fries chicken, eliminates creaky hinges, removes bags under your eyes, great to make cookies, and outstanding as a night hand and foot cream.

I'm gonna go suck on that tic tac and then break someone out of jail with my cool household items...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Damn Zombies

Someone slap me.  Every once in a while I get the feeling that I can handle a spooky movie or tv show.  Tonight was one of those nights.

Twenty minutes into American Horror Story and I am a wreck.  I am in a hotel in another state with all the lights on and the door bolted shut.  I have a fork damnit!

Really?! How ridiculous am I right now?

At least I will be able to see the Zombies in the doorway of my suite before they lick my bones clean and likely use that fork I was protecting myself with to eat my eyeballs.

One day I will be free to watch these shows without the "after effects."  Until then I relish the weekly challenge!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Tootsie Pop

As I look at all the inventive Halloween costumes that kids wear these days, I am reminded of the costume I wore when I was 9.  My mom made me a tootsie pop.  That's right.  I was a bright red sucker.  Explains a lot.

Many a Halloween we traveled about our neighborhood that was rich with kids and houses that gave out lots of candy, popcorn balls and other great things.  The best was the house that gave out FULL SIZED Hershey bars.  You waited all year for that day.  I remember coming home, pouring out the candy on the floor, having my mom sort it for razor blades and other murderous devices.  In the background would always be a scary movie.

Channel 59 had the best horror flicks.  The classics with Boris Karloff, Vincent Price, and Lon Cheney.  I always loved when this most spectacular holiday fell on a Friday or Saturday night because then I was allowed to stay up and watch the whole movie.  I would finally fall asleep when my little eyelids could no longer stay open after hours of waiting for the Mummy or Frankenstein to break into my room.

Ah, the good ol' days.  I still love watching those old movies.  I am glad no monsters will be breaking into my house to haunt me...or will they...mwahahahahahahaha!!!!!