Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Jello Cookies

If anyone tells my mom I posted this I will vehemently deny it and remove all evidence of its existence. That being said...

Every year my mom makes quite the assortment of cookies at Christmas.  Usually she tries some new recipe each year to see how it does. Many years ago she tried the Jello cookie.  Those of you who remember the Jello cookie incident of 1993, you have just blown cola threw your nose. 

You might think that this cookie would be soft and pliable. I thought that too. It was round, about the size of a half dollar, and light pink - really eye catching. Me being one who would try this good looking cookie picked one up and bit into it.

I thought I lost two teeth. That was the hardest damn cookie I have ever tried. I banged it on the ground. Other members of the family joined in. Then my mom saw us. She was unamused. The holiday can be stressful and making fun of my mom's cookies is like asking to be removed from the will. The jokes went on and we had a really fun time, be at a bit of her expense.

I lived in North Carolina at the time so we traveled back after the holiday and I had forgotten all about the cookies - until the package showed up at my job.

I had no idea what it could be. I opened it in front of my workmates and sure as shit, there was those jello cookies and a note.

My mom said she hoped I would appreciate having them since they brought me such joy at Christmas. Ha! She said she set them out for the squirrels since no one had eaten them, but quickly realized the squirrels were throwing them at the house in rebellion and she was pretty sure she had seen one squirrel flip her off. 

Those cookies come up in conversation now and again when we encounter un-eatable food.  I still remember bouncing those cookies off the ground and they didn't even crumble. Jello my ass.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Such an emotional weenie

I already know I can't go to live theater where emotion is involved.  Yes I am the one who stood up during Miss Saigon and yelled Noooooooooo! when she killed herself and the one sobbing uncontrollably during An Almost Holy Picture when she tried to shave off all her hair.  

Now it's movies. There have been several movies lately where the story was really emotional or someone has died or been killed and I just wasn't ready for it. It's a good thing it's dark in a theater.  I now at least take Kleenex and can keep my sobbing more quiet. Even when I see it coming. It doesn't matter if it's fairy tales or scifi. 

I used to try to be cool about it, now I don't care. I just try to keep the nose blowing to a minimum. If the director is trying to figure out if the movie will elicit this kind of feeling, s/he really ought to have me in the focus group.

Today was Star Wars -The Force Awakens.  Friggin' JJ Abrams. Had to go and do that. I have known these characters 38 years. The only thing that made me chuckle a bit in my tears what the fact that the Kylo Ren actor was just the youngest brother in This Is Where I Leave You. He was such an idiot in that movie. 

With more Marvel movies coming out soon I need to find a way to recover quickly. Maybe I should experiment with a movie stress ball.