Tuesday, December 29, 2015
If anyone tells my mom I posted this I will vehemently deny it and remove all evidence of its existence. That being said...
Every year my mom makes quite the assortment of cookies at Christmas. Usually she tries some new recipe each year to see how it does. Many years ago she tried the Jello cookie. Those of you who remember the Jello cookie incident of 1993, you have just blown cola threw your nose.
You might think that this cookie would be soft and pliable. I thought that too. It was round, about the size of a half dollar, and light pink - really eye catching. Me being one who would try this good looking cookie picked one up and bit into it.
I thought I lost two teeth. That was the hardest damn cookie I have ever tried. I banged it on the ground. Other members of the family joined in. Then my mom saw us. She was unamused. The holiday can be stressful and making fun of my mom's cookies is like asking to be removed from the will. The jokes went on and we had a really fun time, be at a bit of her expense.
I lived in North Carolina at the time so we traveled back after the holiday and I had forgotten all about the cookies - until the package showed up at my job.
I had no idea what it could be. I opened it in front of my workmates and sure as shit, there was those jello cookies and a note.
My mom said she hoped I would appreciate having them since they brought me such joy at Christmas. Ha! She said she set them out for the squirrels since no one had eaten them, but quickly realized the squirrels were throwing them at the house in rebellion and she was pretty sure she had seen one squirrel flip her off.
Those cookies come up in conversation now and again when we encounter un-eatable food. I still remember bouncing those cookies off the ground and they didn't even crumble. Jello my ass.