I love technology

Sitting at the airport waiting for Emmy. Then I think hey remember that episode of Starsky and Hutch where the chemist is mad at Hutch, poisons Starsky, and then the race is on for Hutch to find a cure in 24 hours? I do. 

Let's go on the Internet and see if it's out there. Amazon Prime...1976, season 1...episode 21 A Coffin for Starsky, BINGO. 

$1.99 and it's all mine. YAAASSS!

I used to pretend I was Starsky's daughter and I was the one poisoned while they raced to save me. It was quite dramatic.  If I'm bored tonight maybe I'll pretend that again. Starsky comes out of retirement to save me. No Ben Stiller; that was a damn tragedy. 

Ah, plane here. Until I get home. I love technology.

'Merica I love you

America I love thee how do I count the ways? After being away in Italy 3 of the last 5 weeks I realize more and more how much I do enjoy the USA. 

1. Ketchup

2. Red sauce on pasta

3. No air traffic controller strikes on Fridays

4. Two lane roads are really two lane roads.

5. Personal Space

6. No smoking in restaurants 

7. No smoking well everywhere

8. Food variety

9. Streets wide enough to drive on

10. American beef 

The great thing about being away is coming back. I enjoy working there, but I love working here and living here. 

Scary Movie Favorites

Ah, Halloween. What a positively spooky time of year. We have some decorations out front and some lights inside our humble abode keeping the Boogey-man under the bed (or in the closet - I don't even want to look). We even have a blood moon Wednesday - the witches will be out dancing and the werewolves out creeping for sure! 

This time of year I love to see (if I am brave enough) some of my favorite scary movies.  These are mine, I am sure you have a long list yourself.

Sixth Sense

Nightmare on Elm Street

Halloween (original)

Anything with Vincent Price, Boris Karloff, or Bela Lagosi

Exorcist

And then there is that one I can't remember the name of, you know where the guy breaks in the house and shoots at the owners. Oh wait, that one is real! 

I need to get out and buy some candy. Maybe we will even give some to the kids! 

May this month give you the willies and may you think you see dead people if only for the next 24 days.  Live long, be scared, hold someone tight, and eat lots of popcorn.

As Dracula would say, "Blah, blah, blah" 

Please tell me I wasn't that dumb

Despite reports to the contrary, life doesn't end when you have a child. Life expands. It becomes things you didn't know it could be. Relationships may change, but they can become stronger, different, and you will likely start to have a new set of friends. 

You will still get to go out. You will still get to play golf. Your name will stay the same and you even get another one - Momma or Daddy.

I know it seems amazing, but other people have had children. Child birth is kind of a regular thing. 

If you are thinking about, planning on, or even in the throws of having a baby, please know life does not end, I repeat, life does not end. Trust me. Now, I hope I don't have to tell you this again. 

1975

Last Friday night was the first time I had to spend the night alone since the night we were burglarized. I could have sworn I was 9 years old and sitting in the living room of my house at 209 S Roeske Ave. I still remember that night in 1975. My parents went out and thought I would be ok alone for a short while. Remember everyone, the dark is not my friend. I turned on every light in the house. The TV was up probably as loud as it would go to drown out scary sounds. I sat where I could see all the doors. My neighbor Mr. Tylisz came to check on me and I didn't even hear him knocking. Needless to say, my parents came home early likely realizing I couldn't handle it. I said I was fine. I seem to remember Mr. Tylisz there shaking his head the opposite way! 

Well last Friday there was no neighbor to pound on the door and check on me, that would have been embarrassing considering 50 is just around the corner. No parents to come home early. Just me, my dogs, and my wild imagination. The lights were on all night just like the alarm. The dogs were never far. I watched more movies that night than I have in 2 months. It's all good though. I survived and worked out more of the fear that was left from that awful August night. 

So many things change...so many stay the same. 

Daddy's Little Girl

The day finally comes. There is singing and speeches and pomp and circumstance. Then there is the search through the crowds to find her. At the same time she is looking...where is she? Where are they?

She spies his bright green shirt. She knows it is him. She breaks formation and runs to him.  Tears flow. Joy is abound. Only a picture holds the words...

Not angry

An armed burglar broke into our home in the wee hours of Monday morning.  He stole some things very personal to me and he shot at us, but we live to tell the tale.

In talking to my mom she said 'you must be so angry.' I'm not.  I don't know why. In my past when a major event like this happened I would get really emotional...angry.

Maybe I have reached maturity after all these years.  Some people get there later than others. Maybe I have reached a level of peace this past year that I didn't have before.  Whatever it is, I am good with it. 

All I know is I am putting things back together and moving on. Hoping this doesn't ever happen again.

Be safe.

Ten minutes

For 30 days you wonder, worry, imagine, cry, rationalize, remember, encourage, believe, write, and write, and write.

Then it happens...the phone call.

Ten of the greatest minutes ever.  The voice sounds like pure happiness feels.  It is enough until the next time.  I.Am.Relieved.

The hardest part

Haven't blogged in a while.  Haven't felt like it.  I am being a bit selfish.  Emmy left for the military and I am wallowing in the fact that I can't go see her whenever I want.  What is that?  I have always been able to do what I want when I want to.  Now I can't.  I'll get over it and she will come back with new skills and experiences.  But in the meantime, I will continue to shed a tear here and there.  

Soccer runs in her blood

World Cup woes:

Spain v. Netherlands...

Emmy: this guy at the pub asked us if we played soccer.  My friend said she played from 3 til 15.

The guy:  don't get too attached to a team.  It's just for fun.

Emmy to me:  this guy must not have played soccer.  When you lose you feel horrible.  When your team loses you feel horrible. No, no, no...Spain's goalie's mom is probably beating him twice tonight for that shit he pulled. 

Em and I watching the Chile/Australia match...

Me:  I am thinking this game is very one sided (ref calls)

Emmy:  that's how the Spain game started.  They were getting all the calls, then the Netherlands just took a shit on them.

How do you really feel Em?

Proof that kids never learn

Come with me back in time on this Throw-back Thursday:

Emmy is 1 year old and we are in the kitchen.  I tell her the top of the stove is hot, it will hurt you, don't touch it.  What does she do?  She reaches out and touches it.  Off we go to the ER.

Fast forward twenty years.

Emmy is 21.  We just fixed a pizza on a stone.  Michael sets the stone outside to cool off.   Emmy gets ready to go outside.  Michael tells her to be careful the stone is out there and it's hot.  Don't touch it.

What do you think happens?!!!  That's right.

Time for us to receive our Parent of the Year Awards...

All dogs go to Heaven

The next door neighbor's dog died this morning.  She has not been well for a while.  For the last year or so, I gave her water and bones along with a rub during the week.  She was an outside dog so the last two years were really tough on her old body.  She is in a better place now having crossed the Rainbow Bridge to a life of eternal joy where chewees and dog bones grow everywhere like it is a Willy Wonka's  Chocolate factory for dogs.  

I am reminded when our Great Dane Mandy died when I was a teen.  We didn't have her for long, but she was an outstanding member of the family.  I still remember my little brother coming home and sitting next to her body that was wrapped in a blanket in the backyard.  She was buried there.  I often think of her.  She created many memories for me in a short period of time.  I know she too is in Heaven along with Sunshine, Norman, DC, and the other wonderful family pets we have had.  

I hope it is a long time before I have to see another move on.  On days like this, I believe.  Heaven is real.  And like Joe says, Elly's leg awaits her when her time comes many, many years from now when her time comes to cross the bridge. 

That's Hot

Emmy don't touch that it's hot.  Emmy don't touch that it's hot!  Emmy...

Michael get the car...

#tbt

The night starts at 11pm

As Emmy leaves to start the night at 11pm downtown, I am reminded of the many, many college nights when that's the time that my night started.  Hell we used to take a nap in the evening so we could stay out all night.  Those were the days...well they ended when the day was beginning. 

Back in the day we didn't have to worry about anything...no one was gonna snatch ya or put a drug in your drink.  You danced for hours with many different guys, then left them hanging.  It was great.

Tonight's speech to Emmy was: make good choices, if you look away from your drink-buy a new one, look out for skeezes, and be safe.  In my mind I was chuckling...I am such a mother with that speech.

I think I'll have a glass of wine and pretend like I am still cool.

Why is that fork in the ceiling?

Flashback Friday:

Remember that time we were making pancakes and used the blender.  I stuck that fork into the mix while the blender was on.  The blender exploded into a bazillion pieces; pancake batter is likely still in nooks and crannies at that apartment kitchen; and the piece de resistance... The fork stuck in the ceiling directly above.  I now mix pancake batter without electrical assistance. 

Some days verify the reality that being educated doesn't mean you are smart. 

Elastic hairbands, Crayons, Buttons and such

On this throwback Thursday we pay tribute to a few fun times in the early 90s.

Erica coming out of the bedroom as I come in the door from work with about 20 elastic rubber hairbands tied on her arm.  Her hand already blue from the circulation being cut off...and that's what I did with the hairbands - cut them off.  

Emmy holding Erin's hair in her hand after she cut it with the "they don't cut anything but paper" scissors. 

Erica's eye bulging out of the socket after she stuck a crayon in it.  That still makes me cringe.

The look on our faces at the doctor's office when Dr. K pulls a button the size of a quarter out of Erica's nose.  

Erin's lip when she fell on the set of keys sitting on the kitchen counter.

Emmy's face after she realized she touched a hot stove.  

Can hardly wait to see what the next generation thinks of doing...

Throw Back Thursday, good times indeed. 

 

Who dat?

The moment you press the ON button and realize you didn't lock the door to the tanning room.  Three thoughts come streaming into my mind:

-Dammit, what if someone steals my purse

-Dammit what if someone sees me, well, without clothing

And

-What if a sexy guy comes in and we have an extremely brief but torrid affair...

I left the door unlocked.

Here bunny, bunny, bunny

I hope they are as excited as they used to be!!!

It's almost that time again.  Time to come up with a phenomenal plan for hiding eggs for my adult children plus my new son-in-law.  Last year was one of the hardest egg finding episodes ever.  I have an idea what I am going to do.  The weather is looking good which means it will be inside and outside this year.  This one will have to start early so we can be done by lunch.  

Each kid will have their own color of eggs.  Riddles or clues will lead them from one egg to another.  Maybe something associated with their professions...or even questions about each other...so many ideas are flooding my mind.  I can hardly wait.  Should be a good one.  

Fantastic memories of Easters past...

Seven maybe eight

It's time to fess up.  There was not just one hamster.  There was like seven or eight.  Yes, I am one of those parents that replaced lost pets in hopes I would never have to deal with the aftermath of a loss.  Fish were easy.  Hamsters way harder.  The kids paid attention to what they looked like.  Finding matches was not easy.  Finding the bones left behind by DC was harder.  That dog must have eaten at least three.  Those damn little animals would chew the plastic on the tubes of the cage and DC would patiently wait their escape.  Then it was game on.  

I would get off work early and go to the pet store for a replacement.  Many times I had to tell some tale to the girls to buy me time for a suitable replacement.  He's at the vet.  He is with his friends.  Actually he was bones in the closet.

The final lie was told not by me but my husband.  Somehow it made me feel better that we were in this together at the end.  Yes when we moved Daddy said he let the last hamster, or rather the only one (clears throat), out into the woods to live free.  Chances are some bird of prey got him, we did live in the boonies.  

Well, although my heart was in the right place, I was less than honest.  I find solace in knowing many a hamster got a taste of life outside of the pet store, if only to fight a battle to the death with a great black monster known as DC.  May Heaven have those hamsters ganging up on that dog even as I write this. 

The Narrator

So Emmy and I are having one of our transcendent conversations and suddenly she says, "if you had someone narrate your life would it be Morgan Freeman?"

Good question Em.  

Me: Nah, it would be some with a British accent like Jude Law or Paul Bettany.

Em:  I want Boris Karloff.  The voice of the Grinch. 

Of course you do Emmy, of course. 

I like it and I'm proud

Yep, I like generic root beer.
I liked college cafeteria food.
I enjoyed school lunches.

It was a great day when I had 45 cents and could buy lunch at school. Square sausage pizza, corn, and a milk.

I love liver sausage and ham salad.

We used to go to the local deli in the 90s and he would make ham salad right there for us for lunch and then sell us another half pound for later.

I think I will go to that deli tomorrow and see if they still make it.  What a great day it may be.

Must be the equal day and night and lack of tilt of the earth today to orbaway from the sun that made me think of this.  Nah, probably just because it's the first day of Spring.

It's only been a WEEK?!!!

 

Geez you get a little grumpy when you don't eat sweets for a week.  Have a Snickers.

I WOULD if it wasn't LENT.  I should have been totally selfless and committed random acts of kindness like giving other people Snickers and me eating one too.  I really need to put greater thought into this next time! 

Is it too late for a mulligan? 

Lent Day 3

So today I was taking a walk at lunch when I came upon a dog who was getting ready to attack this guy.  I stealthily started coming up behind the dog to try to scare him enough that he wouldn't pounce, when all of a sudden...

Hey do you smell chocolate?  That smells great I'm gonna go see where that is coming from.

Lent Day 2

Have given up sweets for Lent.  Not sure it is a good idea.  Starting to feel the burn...  Stay tuned.  38 days to go...

Topsail

Twenty plus years ago we would spend a week each May on the North Carolina coast with the extended family enjoying the beach and our teeny tiny children.  A week of fun for $254.

Emmy is getting ready for Spring Break so we brought up the Jolly Roger and the fun times we used to have that she was too young to remember.  They may go there, they may not.  It was fun to recalll Emmy's fuzzy hair blowing in the breeze and Erin and Erica playing Power Rangers in the motel parking lot.  I have pictures.  Our hotel was right on the beach.

I think the time is coming when we may once again have an extended family vacation but with my teeny tiny grand kids...that would be fun.  We will see. 

Tweet Tweet Tweet Tweet

Michael Jackson knew about Twitter long ago.  He just played it off as a rockin' robin.

Twitter is so much fun.  I get like a little kid when I tweet at a star or local celeb and they tweet me back. 

Ah the little things that brighten a cold snowy winter day!  Go me!

Tweeting only goes so far.  If we get any more snow, I may lose my mind, along with every other person in the Midwest.

I promise not to complain when I have butt-sweat this summer.

Night Terrors

Ever since Erica was born I have the most realistic nightmares.  It all started when I thought someone had broken in to take her.  I acted out my dream. Jumped on the bed and was like I was fighting off some mad man.  My husband thought I was crazy.  One time I actually hurt myself by launching myself off the bed and hitting the dresser.  I awake as they are occurring.   If you gave me a lie detector test I would tell you they are real, even though I know better.

Last night was the latest.  This one only involved bugs biting me in the forehead (haha hahaha) and I awoke to me brushing them off the bed.  Actually I brushed Junior off the bed. He didn't care for that. 

I wish they would stop.  They get me all hyped up and since my mind thinks it's real, I can't get back to sleep.  At least no one is trying to take my kids anymore.

I bet I am going to be really interesting as an old lady.  I'll be coming to bingo talking about the robbers I fought off the night before.  I better make sure my room at the home doesn't have sharp edges.  Yep, good times ahead.

Duck-a-Palooza

I am a complete nut about making sure the bird feeders are full every day and there is feed on the ground.   Especially now when we have so much snow and the animals are struggling to find food. Michael complains about going and getting the huge bags from the feed store.

Today all the years of putting food out paid off.  A dozen ducks and a squirrel all  came at the same time.  I was thrilled.  So much so it was hard to get a pic of them from in the house.   I thought if I breathed too hard they would fly off.  But here's my best shot.  Oh happy moment.

Don't Tell Junior

I hate keeping things from the little man, but I think it's best this time.  We went to the Indianapolis Dog Show and today they were showing miniature schnauzers.  

He doesn't need to know what one really looks like.  I don't want him to have self esteem issues.  We love him and that is what matters.  I would hate for him to have body issues like what we go through.  He is a proud male who will take on any other dog to show just how macho he is.  Let's leave it like that!  Junior, you're amazing just the way you are!  I am sure Bruno Mars and Billy Joel would agree. 

Show Dog

Chicken Circle Noodle Soup

I had to go over to let Elly out at lunch.  All I had with me was a microwaveable can of Chicken Noodle soup, the kind with the little circle noodles.

I heated it up and attempted to eat it.  After burning my tongue on the liquid, and slurping up some of that tasty-goodness, I realized a terrible trick had been played.  Those tricky little noodles congregate at the bottom and once the liquid is gone, they do not, I repeat they do not, come out.  

Now instead of just opening the lid and getting a spoon, I continue to try to get those tasty circular noodles out of that little opening.  The can clearly states I should be able to.  After fun turned to frustration, I then attempted to get off the lid.  HA!  

In slow motion it flew off and the little noodles fell to the linoleum floor at the apartment.  Elly was on them like, well, lightning to a steeple.  However those nasty little noodles betrayed her as well.  As she attempted to inhale them her breath made them fly in different directions.  It was hilarious.  My frustration turned back to fun.  Erin will probably find a little circle noodle or two tonight and wonder, what the hell?!!  

Flashback Friday

Remember the time in North Carolina when I went to Food Lion to grocery shop.  Yep, all 3 kids (under 4) and me for an exciting hour of shopping.  I do...

Got through the store, loaded up the kids, loaded up the groceries, and then the fun part...

Just as I was closing the lift gate at the back of the van I see them - the keys.  Inside the van.  Then everything goes into slow motion.  The door closing, the realization the doors will be locked,  the kids are in the car, cell phones aren't around, and I am a long way from home.

I valiantly try to get Erica to climb to the back and get the keys, but she cannot maneuver out of the car seat - damn those safety devices doing what they should.  Then I try to get the 2 year old to unlock the locks.  Ha!  Laughing and clapping was all I got as she thought it was a great game.  That's what I get for putting Erica in the middle seat.  Erica repeated everything I said to Erin.  I was actually kind of glad Erin didn't understand her.  It would have given me a complex, in addition to the bad mother one I already had.  Finally I leave the kids and run into the store and share my story.  I get the standard dumb mother with too many kids eyeball roll from the manager and then he lets me use the phone.  My husband comes and all is well.  

I end up locking my keys in the car several more times over the next many years.  Apparently locking my kids in the car didn't teach me a thing.  Ah memories...

Missy

It's 5:30 am and I can hear the dog next door barking.  I lay in bed for a minute and then I think, well, she is old, it's cold, something might be wrong so I get all geared up for the zero weather and snow outside.  After fighting my own dogs off to go outside, I get out the door with treats and water just in case she needs them.  

Then I see it and understand her distress.  A puppy.  A yellow lab puppy.  Cute, but clearly irritating.  They are at the fence before I get there.  The puppy already gnawing at the metal.  I open the treats and give one to Missy and one to the pup.  Missy eats hers and wants another.  The pup spits hers out and starts bugging Missy.  The low growl I hear is familiar after having dogs for so long.  It is the "get away from me you bouncey, happy, little mongrel while I am eating" growl.  

I distract the puppy with my hand. As she gnaws at that, I continue to feed Missy.  I refill a little make-shift water bowl I put out there.  The pup knocks it over, so I fill it again.  It's more about making me feel that I am doing something nice then that she needs it.  

My dogs start to bark from inside.  They are letting me know that it really is pissing them off that I am sharing their treats with others and petting other dogs.  They will shun me when I get back in to express their discontent.  As I turn to leave I hear a big doggy sigh.  I turn back and give Missy one more treat.  Her eyes meet mine and I know they quietly say, "I enjoy this little dog's company, but could you take her with you...I like to sleep in on Saturdays."  Yep, me too, I say in return...me too.