Kenny

Ah Father's Day.  This is a day when I think about all the men in my family past and present.  What a lot they were. There were good ones and there were bad ones.  The one that comes to my mind this year is my Grandpa Fuller.  I don't know why, he just popped in there.  He's been gone a while.  

I don't remember a lot about him, you know that whole "other" side of the family thing.  I do remember though his 3rd wife   Helen's voice when she talked to him."Oh Kenny" she would say in this laughing totally happy sing-song voice.  By time I knew Helen and really Grandpa, she was already blind.  But she was a joyous woman.  She would say even with us little kids around that Kenny loved her for her boobs.  She did have GREAT BIG boobs.  Then he would reply how he did love them.  They would laugh, I would laugh. Kenny was a little guy.  He had been a navy man and I think as part of that became a drinker which turned to alcoholism. You could find him every day at the FOP. The first 2 marriages didn't work out, but this one seemed really special and happy. I enjoyed going over to their little white house.  It wasn't much, but it was good.  I think he made things right in the end.  I think all fathers try.  I got their kitchen table and dishes when they passed.  When I get one of those dishes out I think of him.  I hope he and Helen are in Heaven and he's getting a face full of his favorite thing. 

Wow that's a lot of suds

Have you ever put dish washing liquid in your dishwasher?  Or how about your washing machine?

I have a bit of advice for you.  DO NOT FILL THE SOAP COMPARTMENT FULL UP.  

That's a lot of suds man.  A lot.

Pisses your mom off too.  Like a lot.

Suds + Pissy mom + Laughing kid = beating of your life

Here's hoping your kids are more intelligent and less inquisitive than me.  

I see dead people...well sorta

I have dishes and furniture from relatives past.  I find it difficult to let it go.  

I have dishes from Grandpa Fuller.  He will be a great blog topic soon.  He was very entertaining along with his wife Helen.  I can still hear her laugh.

I have night tables that were my husband's Grandma Dorothy's.

I have table coverings that were my Aunt Thelma's and Great Grandma Burkhart's.

I have crocheted and knitted clothes/blankets that were made by my Aunt Dorothy and Grandma Fuller.

Hmmm, maybe I wouldn't hear voices in the night and be haunted by spirits if I let these things go.  And of course whenever I say things like this Erica stands in the other room and says "Shelley" in a ghost-like tone (damn kids).  But alas, I must ultimately love being spooked out of my mind because even as we move all the things we have in preparation of new carpet, I am only energized by the memories of all these people.  

Let the blog topics flow forth from undiscovered memories from those who have moved on...or have they? Mwahahahahahahaha!!!! 

When I am reincarnated, I'm coming back as your dog

My mom always says this to me.  She says our dogs are better cared for than most people.  Well, I try.

Today was one of those days that tells the tale.

I was on my way home for a half day vacation, the carpet guy was coming.  Then I got the call.  The first call was what every parent hates to get - a hysterical child and then the line goes dead.  HOLY CRAP WHAT IS HAPPENING!  I try to call back and get nothing.  Then I get another hysterical call.  

Daughter: "He's gone crazy"

Me: "Who?"

Daughter: "Junior"

Me: "What is he doing?"

Daughter: "He bit me and he's growling, foaming at the mouth and he's got Erin cornered. I am hiding in the bathroom."

At this point I thought, he's like 17 pounds, I think perhaps there's slight dramatic license with the "he's got her cornered" statement.

I arrive and grab my husband's heaviest coat lying in the garage to use as protection and throw on CUJO when I enter the house.  As I slowly open the door, there he is, all 17 pounds of him.  He looks at me from around the corner.  I can see his beard is drenched in slobber, he has a low rumbling "I am going to eat you" growl going.  I open the door further and he can now see me fully.  I say "it's me Junior."  He instantly stops and shakes his little nub and comes to me.

I scoop him up, make sure my 2 adult children have survived the attack and take off to our phenomenal vet.  Junior wines all the way and is clearly not himself.  I am told he is epileptic and had a violent attack.  Our vet verifies that yes he was probably CUJO like and the kids weren't that far off in their panicked description.

After some Valium and phenobarbital, the little dude is back to mini-schnauzer status and we can put the Stephen King novel back on the shelf.

We love our dogs very much and go to all lengths to keep them healthy.  Now if I could just figure out why their brains fall out when they enter our home...that couldn't possibly connected to me...

Memory of the Day

When I turned 10 I got a 10 gallon tank filled with tropical fish.  Overnight the heater malfunctioned and fried them all. 

I remember this as I sit at the EENT waiting on my youngest. 

May your fish never be fried unless you intend them to be. 

No joy like sarcastic joy

The joy I have every day in my home is unmatched by anything else...

Emmy: Mom!  Are the dresser drawers lined to hide the penis drawings?

Yep, clearly that is something I drew and when I had children decided to hide it with liner paper.  I knew one day when you were changing things around in your room I would be found out, have to admit it, and face the music.  Yeah, we bought this crappy little dresser at a rummage sale.  Some other mom out there is safe. 

Your car is on fire

I enjoy living in the Midwest.  I tried my lot at living in the South.  Let me give you 3 key signs you need to move back north:

3) Delta is ready when you are... Once you move to the south you are no longer allowed to speak of the north or say anything in the south moves slow.  If you do, they correct you and offer you the phone number for Delta Airlines.

2) Clearly the nuclear facilities located in several places (we were within 10 miles of the Harris plant) must have been leaking radioactive materials to have bugs that big.  When you step on spiders and can feel them through your shoes, when you are mowing your grass and spiders jump off your well-house trying to eat you, and you are pretty certain you hear "get out" as bugs are chirping in the evening wind...It's best to leave.

1) There's a knock on the door.  It's a fireman.  He asks if you are from Indiana.  An interesting, yet suspicious question.  He says, "Your car is on fire."  WTF!  Hmmm.  Okay.  Yep it was.  Someone came though and lit every car on fire that had northern plates.   

If after that you decide to stay, you get what's coming to you.